In Need of an Antagonist

Juliet Monroe

real feminists don’t gaze at males.


i won’t link to the full review of our show the other night, or even name the publication (if you care, google), because i don’t want to give the writer the satsifaction of the hits. but can i talk for a moment about how incredibly much this pisses me off? thanks, i will. the review begins:

“‘How can I make my friends into feminists?’ ran one of the more odd questions put to Amanda Palmer during a sit-down Q&A in the midst of this show. One answer, if you happen to be an internationally adored cabaret artist, is probably not to coo and gaze adoringly at your bestselling fantasy author husband for two hours in public.”

…and it goes on to give the rest of the show a great (four star) review. the show was, by the way, fantastic. neil read for about an hour, i played for about an hour, we did a bunch of great songs together, and i think pretty much everybody had a stellar fucking time.


i’m not even sure what the journalist MEANT by this statement. did he mean “real feminists shouldn’t show open affection for their husbands?” or did he mean something else? the fact that i’m “internationally adored” and neil is “bestselling” seems to be part of the point he’s making, but….what’s the point? that if i were a real feminist i’d stand there screaming “I KNOW YOU THINK YOU’RE HOT SHIT, GAIMAN, WITH YOUR BEST-SELLING MAN-PENNED NOVELS AND ALL THAT CRAP, BUT I AM FAMOUS CABARET WOMAN! FUCK YOU MAN! I ALSO MAKE AN INCOME! I STAND HERE, EQUAL TO YOU, AND SHOWING YOU AFFECTION WOULD CLEARLY BE A SIGN THAT I KNOW I BELONG TO THE WEAKER SEX.”



the larger irony, of course, is how i ACTUALLY answered the question, which was something along the lines of:

“if you’re trying to turn your friends into feminists, i think you’re taking the wrong tack. i would back up and start off by not trying to turn them into ANYTHING…this is how we got into this whole mess in the first place.”

as far as i’m concerned, the most powerful feminist can do WHATEVER SHE WANTS.


this includes: wearing heels, wearing combat boots, wearing nothing, sporting lipstick, shaving, not shaving, waxing, not waxing, being political, being apolitical, having a job, being homeless, gazing at men, gazing at women, gazing at porn of all sorts, glamming up like a drag queen, going in man-drag, being in a five-way polyamorous relationship, being childless, being a stay-at-home parent, being single, having a wife, having a husband, and gazing/cooing adoringly at those wives or husbands anywhere they fucking choose, including elevators, restaurants, puppet shows (well, maybe keep it g-rated if there are small children present), ….or on theatrical stages at fringe festivals. are we getting the picture here?? the most powerful feminist can do WHATEVER SHE WANTS. the minute you believe you’re a “bad feminist” because you said the wrong thing/wore the wrong thing/got married/chose to have children…or otherwise broke some unspecified ”code of feminism”: DON’T BUY IT. THERE ISN’T ONE. you can do ANYTHING YOU WANT. ANYTHING. THAT’S THE POINT.

let’s say that one more time for good measure:


don’t let anyone try to turn you into a feminist.

just be one.



I’m scared that I’m not myself in here and I’m scared that I am.

(Source: mybodywakesup, via lannisterjoanna)


My hero.

Mary have mercy.
Now look what I’ve done
But don’t blame me because
I can’t help where I come from
And running is something that we’ve always done
Well and mostly I can’t even tell what I’m running from

Run from their pity
From responsibility
Run from the country
And run from the city

I can run from the law
I can run from myself
I can run for my life
I can run into debt

I can run from it all
I can run till I’m gone
I can run for the office
And run from the ‘cause

I can run using every
Last ounce of energy
I cannot
I cannot

I cannot
Run from my family
They’re hiding inside me
Corpses on ice
Come in if you’d like
But just don’t tell my family
They’d never forgive me
They say that I’m crazy
But they would say anything
If it would shut me up
Shut me up

(Source: thetruththatshouldbe)

(Source: amypoehler)


I will admit that I did not know much about Amanda Palmer before this, but I think I’m going to have to learn more about her now. This is fantastic.

(I know this was 2013 and I’m only hearing about it now. The rock I live under only lifts so often)

Also, I see that it can be difficult to here, so here is the entire letter:

dear daily mail,
it has come to my recent attention
that me recent appearance at glastonbury festivals kindly received a mention
i was doing a number of things on that stage up to and including singing songs (like you do…)
but you chose to ignore that and instead you published a feature review of my boob

dear daily mail,
there’s a thing called a search engine: use it!
if you’d googled my tits in advance you’d have found that your photos are hardly exclusive
in addition you state that my breast had escaped from my bra like a thief on the run
you do you know that it wasn’t attempting to just take in the RARE british sun?

dear daily mail,
it’s so sad what you tabloids are doing
your focus on debasing women’s appearances ruins our species of humans
but a rag is a rag and far be it from me to go censoring anyone OH NO
it appears that my entire body is currently trying to escape this kimono….

dear daily mail,
you misogynist pile of twats
i’m tired of these baby bumps, vag flashes, muffintops
where are the newsworthy COCKS?
if iggy or jagger or bowie go topless the news barely causes a ripple
blah blah blah feminist blah blah blah gender shit blah blah blah

dear daily mail,
you will never write about this night
i know that because i’ve addressed you directly i’ve made myself no fun to fight
but thanks to the internet people all over the world can enjoy this discourse
and commune with a roomful of people in london who aren’t drinking kool-aid like yours

and though there be millions of people who’ll accept the cultural bar where you have it at
there are plenty of others who’re perfectly willing to see breasts in their natural habitat

i keenly anticipate your highly literate coverage of upcoming tours

dear daily mail,

I will admit that I did not know much about Amanda Palmer before this, but I think I’m going to have to learn more about her now. This is fantastic.

(I know this was 2013 and I’m only hearing about it now. The rock I live under only lifts so often)


If Geek Girls Acted Like Geek Guys.

SERIOUSLY. Why does everyone assume I’m fake because of my interests?

funny thing, I’ve personally been asked most of these questions. Females and males like lots of things. I’m not a “fake” because I’m a girl.